“At 18, I was diagnosed with BPD. It’s a mental health condition that affects all aspects of my life, characterised by intense and unpredictable moods, unstable relationships, impulsive behaviour, and disturbances in perception or thinking.

Over my four years at RWCMD, working with College Student Services, I’ve gained a better understanding of myself and the condition and found ways to empower both my playing and my life outside music.

The College's holistic approach to mental health means that all aspects of my learning and development are supported.

When I came to College, I immediately felt how supportive the atmosphere was and, through Student Services, I knew that help was available to me. They've helped me to develop a supportive toolkit to access when I need to.

Not everything is doom and gloom. Being so deeply in touch with my emotions results in a powerful, profound connection with the sentiment of music.

Most recently, I achieved this ‘musical enlightenment’ whilst playing for RWCMD’s most recent opera, ‘Dialogues of the Carmelites’, in which I had the opportunity to come out of the orchestra and play a moving solo at the front of the stage; I can’t emphasise how empowering the feeling of heartbreak, euphoria, and adoration was throughout the opera.

For me, this completely makes up for all the terrible lows of BPD – it’s so worth it when you get to experience the pure joy of music in its most intense form.”

Read more of Ella’s story

A photo of Ella. White quote on purple background: Over my four years at university, I’ve gained a better understanding of myself and my condition, and found ways to empower both my playing and my life outside music."